10 Ideas For How To Spend Election Night 2020

Because we can't time travel to whatever day the results will be finalized

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

Election night is coming. For everyone who cares about the outcome of the election, the night looms ahead like a cross between the Super Bowl, the Oscars, and an illegal cockfight. It’s going to big, it’s going to be close, and it is probably going to be bloody and nasty.

And if you are a Democrat like me, this the night you have been waiting for since 2016.

In normal years, election night parties are a fun way to manage the stress of awaiting outcomes. Having friends nearby is good for celebrations and disappointments alike. This year, covid has foiled that so most of us will be on our own for getting through election night 2020.

If you’re not sure how to fill the time, here are a few suggestions for how to get through election night.

1. Turn on cable news and prepare to ride the rollercoaster: This is what political junkies usually do on election night. Pick a station with the best map or the hottest anchor or the smartest guests and settle in. Wait for the alert tone that signals new tallies coming in and let your emotions run wild at the results. This is not recommended for people with heart conditions.
2. Follow the results on social media: Hone in on a hashtag and don’t take your eyes off your phone. There will be constant updates, many of them laden with wild speculation. Expect to read multiple corrections for false tweets. Three minutes later you can correct people who haven’t gotten the correction yet and feel smug and knowledgeable. You’ll eventually get frustrated and turn on cable news.
3. Media blackout: Just ignore everything for the entire evening to avoid the hysteria of social media and cable news. This will take willpower. Try canceling your internet service for the night to avoid temptation.
4. Drugs: Are quaaludes still a thing? I feel they should be a thing for November 3, 2020.
5. Stalk the opposition: If the local Republican party is ignoring covid restrictions and hosting an election night party, stake it out. Bring a chair, some snacks, and a wireless phone charger. Livestream yourself heckling the attendees as…